We went from morning texts and nighttime talks to mid day “hey”s and nighttime arguments..
Me: Things are finally going well. This is gonna be a good thing.
Universe: Nope.
Me: What did I ever do to you, Universe!?
Universe: Fuck you.

twospoonsofoatmealacouplanuts:

lalondes:

floccinaucinihilipilificatious:

lalondes:

tv show idea: “breaking good”

a murderous drug lord is miraculously cured of cancer and decides to turn his life around. he uses his extensive knowledge of meth cookery to become a chemistry teacher and help young people discover the wonder of science

Isn’t this just Breaking Bad, but backwards?

i really think you might be on to something

I want this as a musical

wanglnciaga:

so when ur famous do u just magically have great skin or

mewtwo870:

hooligan fruit causing trouble at night

mewtwo870:

hooligan fruit causing trouble at night

evidently-evil:

calibornsbottomwhore:

if i had superpowers id use them to get cheesey fries when ever i wanted them

I like that you didn’t even specify the superpower and were just like you’ll make it work

trillow:

"hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE"

のかすかな拍手 A faint clap of thunder 曇った空は、おそらく雨が来る Clouded skies, perhaps rain comes あなたは私と一緒にここに滞在します? Will you stay here with me? 雷のかすかな拍手 A faint clap of thunder 雨が来ていない場合でも, Even if the rain comes not, 私はあなたと一緒に、ここに滞在します I will stay here, together with you
Makoto Shinkai; The Garden of Words  (via nemoricole)

pemsylvania:

everyone always thanks goodness but goodness never says you’re welcome

batched:

notsosilentwallflower:

batched:

knightlock:

how much do boy/girlfriend cost

at least 3 potato

didn’t it use to be 2 potato

the recession hit us hard